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Remember Elpis

Ellen DeGeneres at Tulane’s 2009 Commencement Speech.




ruinedchildhood:

Mom: Home in 5 minutes, hope you’ve taken the chicken out of the freezer

Me: image




accidentalslut:

I C O N I C




lendoro:

baddadsquad:

gentle-puffer-fish:

  • falling asleep on someone’s chest
  • wrapping your arms around each other
  • synching heartbeats and breathing slowly
  • falling asleep in big t-shirts and underwear
  • forehead kissies and murmured affections
  • naps
  • MONSTER TRUCKS

image




Satan: [appears]
Satan: You can have anything you wan--
Me: LANGUAGE.
Satan: What?
Me: GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE.
Satan: What the--?
Me: YOU SAID ANYTHING. GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE IN THE WORLD.
Satan: Wouldn't you rather have love or money?
Me: EVERY. LANGUAGE. MASTERY OF EVERY LANGUAGE. NOW.



shebachan:

farrox:

farrox:

Spooky fact: there is at least one living skeleton in your house right now and it is VERY close. GET OUT OF THERE

image

I SAID RUN NOT HAVE SEX WITH IT

image

i did NOT have sexual relations with that skeleton







peoplemagazine:

he’s so proud




unamusedsloth:

Scumbag Mario. [video]

unamusedsloth:

Scumbag Mario. [video]